The Relationship Mistake That Keeps People Stuck for Years

No, your time is not a “sunk cost.”

Many people in long-term relationships have used the same phrase to quiet thoughts of leaving: But it’s already been so long! If I leave now, all of that time and effort will go to waste. As it turns out, there’s an economics term that perfectly describes why years together can start to feel like a reason in itself to stay: sunk cost fallacy.

“The sunk cost fallacy refers to the tendency to keep investing in something because of what has already been invested—rather than because of its current or future potential,” psychotherapist Kim Hertz, LCSW-R, founder of NY Therapy Practice in New York City, tells SELF. In the financial world, “costs” literally refer to the amount of money invested. But in the context of a relationship, your costs are all the time, effort, energy, emotional labor, and yes, even money you may have contributed that you can’t get back. In both settings, “the fallacy lies in the belief that these previous investments are reason enough to continue onward,” says Hertz—which leads people to keep sinking more and more into a lost cause.

Full article: Self

By Gabrielle Kassel