Intimacy in Relationships
Addressing Intimacy Issues In your Relationship: Top 5 reasons to Seek Couples Counseling
Let’s face it, managing a healthy relationship with your partner is not always smooth sailing. Whether you are in your first years of a partnership, or you’ve been with your significant other for a long time, intimacy issues can arise at any time; and when they do, we are not always prepared to handle them in a healthy way. When these issues develop, we may find ourselves wondering, “What is wrong with me?” or “What is wrong with my relationship?” In reality, however, intimacy issues don’t always indicate an inherently flawed relationship; instead, you may just be trying to tackle something that you’re not fully equipped to handle by yourself. Here are five questions to ask yourself to see if you and your partner may want to consider couples counseling to tackle this problem; and how we can help you along the way.
1: “Is there a foundation of trust in our relationship?”
Trust is a key component to the foundation of any healthy partnership. It is a backbone for intimacy and provides a stable ground for the relationship to stand on. intimacy issues can arise due to a lack of trust between partners. If you often find yourself wondering if you will be able to trust your partner with your words, your decisions, your past, your body, etc. this could be a major cause of the intimacy issues you are experiencing.
2: “Have we let any personal insecurities get in the way of our judgment?” Another possible cause of intimacy issues in a marriage could be some lurking insecurities within ourselves. It can be easy to let these go unresolved as often, we are not even aware of their presence. These insecurities, however, can get in the way of our judgment and vulnerability when it comes to our partners. Perhaps you are insecure about something from your past, or your partner is insecure about one of your close friends; regardless of the insecurity, you or your partner could be letting these things stop you from being intimate (either mentally or physically) with each -other without even realizing it.
3: “Do we understand each-other’s love languages?”
An underrated concept in the discussion of intimacy is the idea of a “love language.” In short, this describes the way your partner gives and receives ‘love.’ Although people rarely fall exclusively into one type or another, the five main categories are
Physical Touch
Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Gift Giving
Acts of Service
Learning and understanding your partner’s main love languages can be a vital component to intimacy in your relationship. If you are not understanding how your partner feels most intimate with you, then your intimacy issues may be more difficult to resolve.
4: Are we each receiving the type of intimacy we need?
Intimacy (or the lack thereof) does not look the same in every relationship. For some it is physical intimacy, for some it is consistent verbal reassurance, and for some, simply being in the same room for a dedicated amount of time may be enough to fulfill their needs. Regardless of what your relationship looks like, you may need to take time with your partner to figure out what kind of intimacy you are seeking. Your partner may not need the same kind of intimacy that you do, and this is where open and honest communication with them will be needed in order to figure out where the deficit lies.
5: “Are we having trouble identifying what the issue is?”
At the end of the day, it is not always obvious what it is that’s causing the issues we are trying to resolve. Sometimes, intimacy issues can spark from the most subtle differences between partners’ thoughts or behavior patterns. These often go completely unnoticed, and therefore unresolved. Most of us are not professionals in this area, and it can be very difficult to pinpoint exactly why these problems develop within our relationship This can certainly be a frustrating and confusing road to travel by yourself, which is why couples counseling may provide the help and relief that you and your partner are looking for to create or restore the intimacy you are missing.
Whether it’s tackling hidden insecurities, learning each-other’s love languages, or building a solid foundation of trust in your relationship, we have accepting, understanding, and knowledgeable experts at our practice that can help you on the road back to a healthy partnership that has the type of intimacy you have been searching for. These issues can be so hard to navigate by yourself and we are here to make sure you and your partner receive the help and care that you need to keep your relationship running smoothly.